A BBQ, A Fire and A + E

Saturday 3rd September, 2011.

With the coming seasonal changes, I thought it best to have another BBQ, before the weather took a major turn for the worse. So, up early on Saturday to prepare. Emma (Matron) went into Watford, to get some shopping and when she returned we headed to our local shop, ‘Vimco’, to get the last few things we needed. On returning home, we discovered Swany’s car on the drive and some beer and bread in bags in the garden, but no sign oft the Swany himself. So, I picked up the beer and put it in the fridge and placed the bread on the side, in the kitchen. I then set about preparing the Chili. I heated some oil and added chopped onions and garlic. I then took the pan off the heat and added a tin of tomatoes and left the pot to stand. I then added the minced beef and the diced beef, followed by a healthy pinch of Paprika and Oregano.I then seasoned with Salt and Pepper before adding a couple of sliced Chili Peppers and two tins of kidney beans. I then broke up half a bar of Lindt Chili Chocolate and added this to the pot. Then, using one of the now empty kidney bean tins, I made a strong black coffee and added this to the mixture. The lid was then placed on the pot and left to stand. (The recipe is at the bottom of this page.) I then got to work on the Pork joint. I made some holes through the joint with a skewer and threaded some fresh Chives (fresh from the garden) into the meat. I then criss-crossed the skin of the Pork with a sharp knife and rubbed oil all over it, before rubbing sea salt into the skin. I then carefully wrapped it in tin foil and left it to stand. By this time, Ben ‘Swany’ Swan and Jason ‘Smithy’ Smith had returned. It turns out that they had arrived whilst Emma and I had gone to the shop and had been messing around in the park. So, we opened a bottle of beer each and I lit the charcoal on the BBQ. After 20 minutes-or-so the charcoal was ready. So, I put the pot of Chili in the back left corner and placed the Pork Joint in the back right corner. (Both directly on the coals.) Then it was a case of sitting back and waiting. While we waited Swany had brought his ‘Circus’ equipment with him. (Juggling clubs and balls, Plates for spinning, Unicycle, etc..) So, while theChili cooked and the Pork Joint roasted, we messed around. Swany is slowly improving on his Unicycle and we had a lot of fun videoing him. We then tried some plate-spinning, which I was not very good at. After the Pork joint had been on for an hour I turned it over and stirred the Chili. More beer followed, while we awaited the arrival of Steve ‘Browny’ Brown. I then flash-fried some steaks and Haloumi, which took literally seconds to cook, over the coals. It was then that Browny arrived. So, we dished up the Chili and I took the joint inside to slice it. We then all tucked in to eat. Smithy had never tried one of my Chili‘s, or a Pork joint cooked on the coals and he had never had Haloumi. Surfice it to say, that not an ounce of food was left over. Everything went. Once we had let our food settle, we went out into the park and played about. Smithy climbed to the top of one of the trees, whilst Swany messed around on the round-a-bout. After a good half-an-hour of us all playing about (which Emma videoed), we headed back into the garden to chillax. Soon after Smithy decided to leave as he was slightly drunk (Lightweight!!!) so Browny, Swany and I played with the circus gear. Browny got his plate to spin without much practise, whilst I was ready to launch mine like a frisbee. Then I got it to spin and I was happy. As the evening drew on, and the light began to fade, Swany and I put on our Honcho’s. At about 10ish, Peter ‘Tits’ Metcalf came round with more beer (not that we needed it as the fridge was still well stocked) and some flammable liquid for Swany. Swany then decided that it was time to up his game, so with my video at the ready, he began. First with his ‘torch’, which he tried to balance on his chin. (While wearing his highly flammable Honcho and its bag as a hat!) Then by juggling lit fire-lighters, and finally by breathing fire. This was very impressive and came out very well on the video. (‘Swany’s Fire Circus’ on my Video Page.) After Swany had finished his ‘fire show’, we all settled down to enjoy the rest of the evening. Then the call came. Swany looked at the number and obviously recognised it, because he answered it in a very cautious manner. Then his demeanour changed, and he promised that he would be there (wherever that was) in minutes. When he put the phone down, Matron asked him what was up. It turned out that Stacey, (‘Champagne Stacey’ on my Video Page) had been involved in a Road Traffic Collision (RTC) and had had to be cut out of her car by the Fire Brigade. She was also 19 weeks pregnant with Swany’s baby, so, while we packed Swany’s things away, Matron made Swany a cup of strong coffee, to help sober him up. He then headed off with Tits, to A+E, promising to let us know how she was, as soon as he could. This left Matron, Browny and me to wait and wonder what was happening. Soon after, Matron went up to bed, while I watched TV and Browny played on the PC. Eventually, Matron received a text letting us know that Stacey was just a little sore and banged-up and that Baby Swany was fine. So, everything turned out Okay. Good food. Good friends. And good fortune for Swany.

       Recipe for the Perfect Chili

  • Olive oil
  • 1 large onion
  • 1 clove of garlic
  • 2 red chili peppers
  • Paprika
  • Oregano
  • Salt & Pepper
  • 500g good quality mince beef
  • 500g good quality diced beef
  • 1 can of tinned tomatoes
  • 1 tin of kidney beans
  • 1/2 cup of fresh coffee
  • 1 bar of good quality Chilli Chocolate
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